Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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