dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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