I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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