Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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