how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
COCAINE IS GR8
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
