Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
