wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
