Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
