I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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