I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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