Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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