And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
