i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
