They should really pass out barf bags in church
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
