Apparently you make a good broom.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
