I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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