Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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