I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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