Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
