Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
