dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
