Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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