Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My vagina is officially offended.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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