Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
