He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
