Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your penis caused this!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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