He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
