She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
