No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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