3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
