After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
my poor anus
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
