Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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