Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
