A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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