Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
