Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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