k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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