can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
