i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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