You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
