Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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