Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
