Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Did I show you my penis last night?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
