I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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