I wannas sexs uuuuu
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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