Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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