I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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