Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
