dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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