We won't sleep together?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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