She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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