We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
