In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
